warmth wanes

the summer fades,

warmth wanes from the days.

morning chill of impending change.

this summer was so huge,

a crucible of afternoons,

and i have finally taken shape,

fashioned in mine own image.

the full doomed moon

keep your heart locked up
in the tabernacle,
but the church doors
are wide open all night.
i am sitting again
in the last pew,
saying a prayer
to that full, doomed moon
we saw when we went home:
"please let this cup pass from me."
the sacristy ghosts
haunting the chapel
hurl epithets
at my black silhouette
prostrate on the cold, wooden kneeler,
alone in the knave,
putting my faith
in a locked door.

cold pints

that walk through the druid
tenements beyond the brewery gates
takes us back centuries on the horse
and buggy barreling at us

driven by an old drunk. heart of dublin,
anachronistic pacemaker, my father,
my younger brother and i

walk the long, old miles in silence
and climb through the brewery museum
to the cold pints.

up south fifth street

that grey morning sky
when the sun was bloodshot
behind a hospital sheet
of clouds over the top
of the williamsburg bridge,

dragging my bike down
the stairs and out to sea,
i paddle up stream
up south fifth street.
i feel you stir in bed

one block away,
your blankets toss aside
and wings unfurl inside
the birdcage of my ribs.
i am flying now

out from under the summer's
humid weight, cutting
a swath through cars and trucks
falling in and out of love,
making a b-line back to life.

dreamcatcher

so i am going to try an experiment - i'm going to start tracking my dreams here for your reading pleasure.

i'll never be able to match the wit or the style of karen's dream blog, but i've been having such weird ones lately that i have to give it a go.

some excerpted highlights:

• i am in the middle of a vh1 behind the music on an evil, satanic 1970s rock band called "debaser." their sound is like rollins-era black flag mixed with "reign in blood"-era slayer (i know, AWESOME, right?) their singer is legitimately evil - like that guy from the 80s movie that sells his soul to become a metal star. and debaser has a blood feud with kiss that is later settled at an outdoor concert. somehow, the singer of debaser is arrested and incarcerated in some kind of public square - chained up. he is threatening to escape. the dream shifts a bit and i find myself in my underground headquarters, an aging iron man (like dark knight, but in the wrong comic). i know that i am the only one who can stop debaser, but i am a little bit scared because he is such a badass. i vanquish him with a number of flying maneuvers and save the day.
• i am in my room, in bed. the door to the rest of the apartment and my closet door are closed, but there is a ghost on the other side of each. i challenge the ghost several times to come and face me. finally it bursts through the doorway from the outer apartment, and i squeal back to bed. the ghost kind of looks like a mexican dude.
• i am in an island encampment with some peeps, chilling. some protesters approach the camp and soon we are overrun as the protesters are backed militarily by some kind of sinister group. (hello, "LOST.") there is something about me hiding a baby from them and leading a revolt.
• i win a contest to be on some mtv reality game show. this particular show seems to involve going to an underwater brothel. i am paired up with my escort, a latina (super hot, a little chunkier), and she gives me a tour and tells me the ground rules. i keep freaking out because i want to go back to my dorm room to get my watch. i see some underwater glory holes and other weird stuff...

summer of josh: flag day

perfect timing. hoisted that black flag finally.

honored my family, ready to head back, plan this summer, get back to the front, join the fray.

poem fragment

the ones that got away
the lives i've let slip away
there is no life now
but the one.